Notably, fears begin early in life. They become stronger as they are reinforced over time. But, getting rid of fears can also be done overtime. Fears affect people of all ages beginning during early adolescence. It is said that 40% of them begin before the age of 10 and 95% before the age of 10. Shocking! This can be debilitating for adults. However, there are ways to get rid of your fears.
I am not the authority on fear—BUT the fact is most of us if not, all have some kind of fear. Fear comes from insecurities that developed along the way in our early years.https://www.choosingtherapy.com/anger-at-parents-in-adulthood/ Insecurities from childhood fester into adulthood. However, not all of us had traumatic upbringing or harsh environments—fortunately.
On the other hand, most of us received large doses of interactions that created fears. These fears carry with them serious consequences. For instance, such as poor self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. The good news is that you can face your fears and get rid of your fears. Consequently, allowing for a much more productive and meaningful life.
HOW FEAR ROBS US?
It’s interesting how there was a time when, in years past, we say stuff like, “ghee I remember when I would do things that I liked” or “I used to just take-on stuff” or_________. Whatever the blank is, can you recall a time or times when you did something outside your comfort zone and gotten rid of fear?
Or you would do something to get rid of the fear and invalidation by others. This is because you had a desire and belief! Only that these acts were not repeated over time or probably not encouraged!
“Fear is effectively cured
With forced repetition of acts of courage.”
Above all, it is probably, highly likely that you cannot recall any moments like this. Often, what is recalled are the negative thoughts and emotions–fears. As a result, these fears (thoughts and emotions) get hard-wired. This hardening takes place primarily due to a lack of encouragement and exploration.
Consequently, leading to false beliefs about self, abilities, and diminished initiatives to seek out opportunities.
Said another way, we feel inadequate and before long we behave in ways that are non-producing or unproductive. This becomes a perfect breeding ground for fear to grow and dominate our minds.
SOME FACTS ABOUT FEARS
Ultimately, which fear or fears do you have? There are said to be 6 basic fears that are known to all human beings. Maybe you are prone to one or more of them. Below is a list of them with key symptoms of each. Let’s look and see which applies to you. Take a careful honest analysis if you want to make some changes in your life and get rid of fear.
BASIC FEARS & SYMPTOMS
- The Fear of Criticism: Lack of initiative and inferiority complex
- The Fear of Poverty: Indecision; allowing other people to think for you; worrying
- The Fear of Illness/ill-health: Being a hypochondriac; self-coddling
- The Fear of Death: a habit of being obsessed with death instead of being useful or productive
- The Fear of Old Age: Particularly men and women in their 40’s slowing down, speaking of “being old “or inferior, dressing trying to appear younger.
6: Fear of Loss of Love of Someone: Jealousy and fault finding
THE UNHEALTHY OBSESSION WITH FEAR
The 6 basic fears listed are universal, affecting us in different ways. Have you ever become curious about how we succumb to them? Fears that we continue to nurse, feed, and allow to stop us from becoming purposeful—vivid! The short answer, in large part, centers on conditions, environments, and learned behaviours.
Consequently, we carry forward these fears. We end up repeating the same negative thoughts and emotional patterns. As a result, creating whatever is feared, unconsciously, to actually happen. This is to say, whatever you focus on or give attention to, will be the physical outcome.
IF IT’S NOT MARKED IT WILL NOT BE INTENTIONAL
As human beings, we are all susceptible to accepting the status quo. By this, I mean, going with the flow, prone to laziness, and easily aligning with what is easiest.
Similarly, the path that is least resisted. Simply, it’s just easier to create alibis and aliases than to face the thing that scares us. It just is! Until we own this and mark it, then, we will not get rid of fear.
DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT PART-1
- First, decide what you want or what your chief purpose and aim in life are.
- Do NOT ask permission or seek validation about what your purpose or aim is.
- Check inside/do some reflection in your life about the things you enjoyed or wanted to do while growing up. See what comes up.
- Write it down and explore (asking questions, doing research, etc.)
- Start writing out steps of how to achieve it. This ensures your steps or plans are sound and safe.
- Don’t stop until you succeed.
DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT PART-2
The guidance above probably seems daunting or unattractive. How badly do you want to manage your fear (s) and have different results? Fear is a state of mind.
This means that you have control and self-will to recondition your mind for success. In conclusion, this fear is buried very deeply. Therefore, it will take practice to undo the old ways of thinking and feeling.
THE WORN PATH (UNCONSCIOUS)
Most importantly, our brains are very accustomed to thinking negatively. This is based on conditioning over time. Therefore, by default, our actions are negative which produces physical realities that are disappointing.
The inverse is true, then. If we intentionally focus or redirect our thoughts on positive things—our hopes, dreams, desires, and beliefs. Then our actions and realities will be rewarding and meaningful.
STEPS TO CHANGE OUR STATE OF MIND-DAILY
- Create Affirmations that address the fear you have, and read them out loud each morning as your awake and at night just before bed
Benefits: This creates a desire by changing how you think, feel, and talk to yourself.
- Visualize: Picture in your mind what your chief purpose or aim is for your life. Do this daily.
Benefits: This practice changes your focus to what your desire and purpose are.
- Faith/Belief: This practice includes your spiritual expression (i.e., prayer, meditation, worship)
Benefits: This practice helps to deepen your purpose and desire; it gets rid of FEARS.
- Repeat this practice for 90 days. Note your progress at the end of every week, by journaling, over the course of the 90 days.
Benefits: This will be INTENTIONALLY marking the changes that will have taken place in your thoughts, emotions, and actions.
Living a life of purpose and meaning can really be yours. Let’s face it, we were not given the choice of the families or environments we were born into. Above all, we were limited and learned what we were taught.
Fortunately, we are adults, now, and have options. What are some possibilities for you? If you have ever read my story in “Reclaiming Your Life,” https://nbhi-llc.org/2021/01/your-past-is-not-healed-in-time-but-with-action-include-these-5-life-transforming-steps-to-reclaiming-your-life/you learned that I am an adult swimmer. I learned how to swim only 5 years ago. I was deathly afraid of the water!
Ironically, I am from the Caribbean. I had a serious fear of the water that robbed me of enjoying many vacations and even local beaches in my community. I, too, created alibis for why I did not swim. Ultimately, I was afraid and embarrassed. Trust me!
Decide what you want and outline the steps needed to make it happen. Maybe you have underlying psychological fears that require professional help. I had to get a swim coach. I am so happy that I did! I needed a professional to help me. This was one of the steps I needed to take to see my desires become a reality.
What will you do with 2022? It is my hope you will take that first step today. I hope you will go a step further and drop me a line at [email protected] and let me know what you have decided. I have full confidence in YOU!
Copyright © 2022 by K. Henry